With the new school year upon us, I’m finding myself having a hard time going ‘back’. And it’s not because of the day in and day out of dealing with behaviors in the classroom. It’s not having to re-teach already learned skills. It’s not because it’s the first day, and I’ve ‘had my summer off’.
No. It’s because of you…shitty parents.
Now, I’m not talking to the folks out there who think they are shitty. Or the ones who occasionally f*ck up. Or even the ones who try. Because at LEAST they’re trying. I’m talking to the ones who don’t give a shit.
I. HATE. YOU.
I hate you because you give me your child to fix. To love. To hope for. To celebrate. TO BE THEIR SUPPORT. I’ve worried about YOUR child at some point this summer. I’ve worried if they’ll come to school on the first day with a new backpack, shoes or at the very least a half decent lunch. And for the most part, they will. You’ll have pulled your shit together enough to make it ok for the first week or at least until picture day.
Then it starts. The dark circles under their eyes, the crummy lunches, or even no lunch at all. The unexplainable bruises or scabs. The cat urine soaked clothing, the smell of not being bathed in a while, the messy hair and poor clothing choices for the weather. The behaviors….oh dear Lord, the behaviors.
I’ll be putting your child in time out constantly or they will be visiting the office. I’ll be keeping them in at recesses, or taking away gym time or free time. On really bad days, probably all three of those. I’ll be explaining that we don’t hit (or swear or kick) at school – because I sure as shit know you hit (or swear or kick etc.) at home. I’ll be making phone calls to Children’s Aid on a bi-weekly basis. I’ll document, document and document some more. I’ll spend time trying to figure out how to make school as safe place for your child. How to help them learn. I’ll reward them as frequently as possible – more so than the other kids. Show them that they have someone they can look up to that they can be more than the product of their environment.
I’ll take time away from my family. Whether it’s calling CAS or meeting with other professionals to figure our how to help your child overcome the barriers you’ve set before them. There will be days I go home and cry. Cry becasause I fear for them, I feel hopeless for them and I’ll hold my child a little harder because I can’t hold yours.
I will advocate for them and protect them and love them in any way possible, despite you. In every way I will be the support you are not. I HATE YOU, because you lucky SOB, your child will not.
An Educator on her way Back.